Life can sneak up on you and explode sometimes. A phone call, a knock on the door, letter... something happens and the ball drops and that moment of bliss pauses and you wonder is this really happening?
Sometimes you wake up and wonder how did we get here?
My baby brother is a heroin addict. This amazingly smart young man has spent the better part of the last five spiraling out of control has he fell deeper into his own demons. 8 months ago our family figured it out and we got him help. My parents found the best rehab money could buy, shipped him off and my mother traveled 7 hours each way weekly to attend family therapy.
She was his angel, she was his mother. She stopped her life and focused on him. The family banned together and rallied him on. We knew he could do it; he was too smart to loose his life to his addictions.
We were wrong, his first month with any freedom, with any hope of responsibility he found himself right back to where he started. I can't wrap my brain around his addictions, its beyond me. I kills me to think that my little love is loosing his uncle to this illness. That we, as a family, are being robbed of his presence because of drugs.
I watch my baby run around and wonder what will our struggles be. Will I have to stand by and watch him ruin his life? Will I be able to do it, will it kill me? You are a parent the rest of your life and sometimes your children choose a path you cannot join them on. Its scary sometimes to realize that our babes will grow and have a path to live and all we can do is hope and pray that their life is the one we dreamed for them. No mother dreams of the bad. Tonight lets say a prayer for the mother's that loved their kids through the real bad and in the end still lost.