Birthdays

Yesterday was my birthday. A big one some might say as it ushered in the last year of my roaring 20's. Honestly, at this point I have no issues turning 30. I took the stereotype seriously and had a pretty major internal freak out for my quarter life crisis aka 25. Turning 30 at this point doesn't seem to be such a big deal. Ask me again in 364 days, who know I may feel different.

Birthdays have always been a big deal in my family surrounded with much celebration. I have fond memories of great birthday parties, trips to exotic places and basically just being surround by lots of love. I never felt alone and boy have I some great memories. Ever since entering my mid to late 20's birthdays have been rather bland and some, well not so great. A few years ago when the husband and I were still dating he had a bit of freak out and my brother went into cardiac arrest in Cambodia while on a family trip with my mother, aunt and grandparents. Its OK, I married that boy who scared me and made me cry that night at dinner and my brother proved not to have some rare heart disease but instead a drug addiction. I, also, have a habit of being very pregnant over my birthday which means I am uncomfortable wanting my body back and some what of an emotional mess. I cry for no reason and maintain a state of general pissed offness. Hormones are the pitts that is for sure.

All that to say that I have about decided that birthdays are more for kids. Us, adults, well its just another day that we turn a year older. There is nothing magical about it and as much as try I can't remember a birthday in recent years where I did not cry at least once. I seem to think more of my mother and what this day must mean to her. June 29 is more special to me than my own birthday now. It's the day I became a mother and discovered just how amazing motherhood is. It is the day that we welcomed our own special child into this world and for me I know I will carry on my family tradition of making that day as special as I can for as long as can for my little boy. I am guessing whatever day Jack decides to enter the world will also get filed away as top day to me. Yes, its the day they were born but its the day that Momma birthed them here and met the little guys that I carried with me for so long. And to me that is a pretty darn special day.