I have been halfway participating in Blair's McFatty Monday for last 8 months. It hasn't really been working for me. Others have had quite the success stories and me, well, not so much. It is not all my fault. I screwed with my hormone stability after EJ's birth by inserting the Mirena IUD that was a really.bad.idea. I mean REALLY.BAD.IDEA.
I was wreck. I was certifiably batshitcrazy. I was miserable. I could not loose weight. In February, I wised up and removed the rod of Satan and things started slowly improving. Hormones can kick your butt. When I am jacked up on hormones I am a different person. No, seriously, I am. And guess what? I really do not like that person. I am short tempered. I hate my awesome husband for no reason and the worst side effect I am chubby. So let's just say I cannot wait until the last baby arrives and hubs gets sniped. He can whine all he wants. LA on hormones strains our marriage and I went through childbirth. We will not even discuss the months leading up to it. That's the least the men in our lives can do.
:: Steps off soapbox::
Regardless of the reason, I just have not been able to be successful in my attempts and that has been very discouraging and resulted in a lot of throwing in the towel.
Until I watch the Doctors, a show I typically hate.
After watching a super healthy doctor eat a crappy diet with no exercise for 5 days and the affect it had on his body and mind something clicked. WOW, that is me.
My energy levels are not what the used to be.
I have a love/hate relationship with the greasy food I love. Hate the way I feel after said meal. Love the way it tastes so I go back for more. I used to be so healthy, so energetic, and so happy and care free.
Today, I am sleepy a lot. My skin has seen better days and life can stress me out in two point five seconds.
Yes, a lot has changed. I have child that I am responsible for. My job is at home now. Things have changed but my zest for life should be the same or greater and its just not.
So, today my priorities have changed, no more desperate attempts for scales to produce a certain number or for clothes to look a certain way. No more staring at old pictures and lusting after that flat, firm belly.
I am a Mother. I baked a baby for 10 months. I birthed him. I nursed him. I wear the armor of motherhood... loose skin, stretch marks, wider hips and not-so-perky boobs. But, I have a walking and talking product of my deep love for my husband. A child who stares back at me with my own eyes.
Instead of working towards a number, I am working towards health. A better blood pressure, an active life style and diet free of junk.
S0 what are your long term goals? How have your priorities changed?