Calm down and listen to your instincts drop the books in the trash and don't worry so much. Child rearing is static what works today in 10 yrs will be the worst thing you could ever do to your child and what is terrible parenting today will be amazing.
Every mom needs a happy hour, grab a glass of wine let dear old dad take the reins for a few hrs and do something that makes you sane again. And, I promise despite what your firmly believe Dad is not going to break or kill the baby. God gives us dads to do the things moms are afraid to do. Like make them stand at 4 months or let the dog kiss them.
A relaxed, revived women is a better wife and mother and really that is what all strive to be isn't it?