Learning to BE the example.

This family knows how to have a good time. It's no secret that we are bit of party animals here. We met at a New Years Eve party, enough said. And while I love a large glass of pinot noir or dirty martini as I have gotten older I have become increasingly aware of the realities of life. Age doesn't make you immune to poor decision making.

As a parent, I do not believe in hiding things from your children. I was raised in family that regularly enjoyed happy hour at gatherings. My granddad always made me a Shirley Temple and I have many fond memories in my grandparents living room with everyone sharing a drink. I was exposed to responsible drinking at an early age and truly feel it molded me in a responsible social drinker as an adult.

We have no plans to hide our love for wine from our boys. I assume they feel that social responsible drinking as an adult is the norm. But, as we have grown in the responsibility of parenthood we have also had to take a hard look at how we handle certain situations and the example we are setting for our kids. That can be hard.  No one wants to admit that even as parent they may make a choice or two that we would rather our kids not do.

One of those choices is drinking and driving. I am not talking about the obvious belligerent drunk you need not drive. I am talking about what many of us are guilty of,  pushing the line. Driving when you are probably fine but if involved in an accident it could be bad. My hope is my children refrain from drinking at an early age but I am not naive to the realities of growing up. And the one thing I absolutely do not ever want my kids to do is drink and drive. It can kill you. It can kill someone else. In a moment it can ruin your life forever. That reality scares me a lot.

After a lot of thought and realizing that children are way more likely to do what you do, not what you say Craig and I made a family decision. No more than two drinks or no driving. No matter how long in between consumption. No splitting hairs. No, I weigh 80 more pounds than you. You want to let lose and drink feel free but call a cab. Our children will grow up seeing mom and dad utilize cabs. Yes, it may cost us a bit more on a date night but its cheaper than a DUI and better than death or going to jail.

It is our hope that our kids see Mom and Dad have a good time but be smart. Just maybe our actions can impress on them a reality that I am confident would probably be ignored if it was just words.

And in all honesty, it has been nice. Since making this life change we have had a few date nights and it was so lovely to savor each sip of wine and bite of food. To talk and enjoy each other and never think about how much we were drinking. We just had fun. Called a cab and came home. It's the responsible adult decision and its one we are consciously making.

Transitions

At this point I have transitioned from new mom to just mom to mom of two. And with this latest transition I have realized something...I am a much better mother to two kids than I ever was to one. Now let me say nothing pissed me off more than being told that you weren't really a parent until you had more than one kid. That thought process is rude and categorically untrue. But, for me and my journey through motherhood, I have discovered that Jack is getting a way better parent. And by default so is EJ.
I was fairly relaxed mom with EJ. I was not one of those hyperactive new moms that fretted over every little thing but I was lacking in confidence. I was wading through unfamiliar waters and with everyone's willingness to share their opinions with me all the time I was left totality insecure about my decisions. I wondered way more than I ever should and poor EJ got a momma who was a tid bit stressed out.
I took a hard look at myself the other day and I realized that I am so much more relaxed and gosh darn it I am confident. These boys are mine and I know what is best for them. I know that Jack may be just shy of six months but this little guy needs lots of sleep and that means to bed he heads at 6:30pm. Yes, that is early and all the books say another feeding should happen but for him I know its what is best. He, also, has the driest skin in the world so bath time is limited to twice a week. I know that EJ has to have structure or he goes insane and days that aren't structured well tend to end in screaming from everyone. Its just little things that I know about my kids that no one, not even dad at times, know.
I can trust my instincts and let life happen. We have a schedule and most days its the way life goes but I also let things interrupt it because that is life and my kids need to learn to be flexible. I know that EJ throws huge temper tantrums and the best way to handle it to send him to his room immediately. Time outs and redirecting may be the thing to do now but for us does not work. I am ok with telling others that. I don't kept my difference in parenting styles to myself. I just do what works for us. And sometimes that all you can  do is just listen to gut and say a prayer it works.

On Holidays

Oh how I love the holiday season. It is the only time in the year I am willing to tolerate cold weather. There is just something magical about pumpkins, fires and christmas trees. I have wonderful memories of childhood christmas pasts. One's filled with all my family, rooms full of people and laughter. Great times with cousins and siblings.

As I have moved past the childhood stage and into the adult stage of the holidays I see the stress. I see how easily the true meaning of the holidays can get lost in the shuffle. I have found myself trying to recreate the holidays of the past. I yearn to give my children similar memories. I so desperately want them to feel the love and magic that holidays can be. However, while cooking my first family thanksgiving this year it occurred to me that those are my memories, my childhood. The boys are making their own memories. These are the memories that they will hopefully look back on with love as the grow older and form families of their own.

We have worked hard to make our family our own. To set boundaries that works for us because this family that we made now is the most important. So as I go through this season and the years to come I am going to focus less on what I have always done and more on what is best for the boys. We may not have the family filled crazed celebrations but that does not mean that they won't be just as memorable. Hosting Thanksgiving was truly wonderful moment. There was no loading up the car and driving into the wee hours of the morning. No shuffling through luggage, and running from house to house. Both of us commented on how much we loved having everyone over. It was a perfect thanksgiving and I hope in the years to come their are many more just like it.

This is real life

It's midnight, heartburn is flaring. Swallow some Tums. Prop myself up has high as I can go on my side and try to fall back asleep.
3 am arrives the heartburn is back. Pop some more Tums and roll over. It's now 4am Momma instinct kicks in. I wake and listen hard for a whimper. Suddenly a wail and cry for me pierces the silence as I stumble to the boy's room. I cuddle a scared boy and lay with him until he falls back asleep.
As I sneak back to my room, my stomach starts to rumble. I manage to lay down for only for a minute before I race to the bathroom. The 3rd trimester sickness has set in. Husband wakes a few minutes later to his boy yelling for him and his wife sick in the bathroom. Quite the symphony of sounds.
Not sure who to help he heads for the boy. For the rest of night he cuddled a scared boy who fought sleep by racing hot wheels up and down Daddy's arms and legs.
This is real life. Not a fun party but bittersweet all in its own right. Just a picture of unconditional love as we muddle through yet another moment in our lives.

This too shall pass

I have heard it a lot lately, "oh you are going to have your hands full" in response to my rather large belly and the crazy kid running around at my feet. It amazes me the freedom people feel in speaking their "truth" to you when it comes to opinions on children. I honestly believe that a good number of people really enjoy fear mongering expectant parents.  I can not for the life me figure out why.

Before EJ was born I was told I would never sleep again. That I should enjoy quiet because it's over soon. The array of other personal comments and opinions that was launched at me was mind boggling. I didn't  understand it then and still don't today. Primarily because of the obvious. It's not like I can do anything about it now. This baby is coming whether we like it or not. Get over it and get ready is my motto. I get excited. Some days I am scared but that's normal. Trust me I do not need you spilling your guts to me about how much work I am about to be in for. I will learn soon enough on my own.

And guess what there were sleepless nights, there were days when I wanted to pull every strand of my hair out and scream. I have been exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed but you know what?

It's worth it. And it passed. 

I love my kid so much it hurts. I love being his momma and even when he makes me crazy I can not imagine my life without him. I love my husband more each and every day because he loves our kid so much. We are committed to each other in a different way because we know and embrace the reality that we are the foundation of our family. This family of ours is so important to us that we work hard daily to make sure that there are no cracks in that foundation. That kind of commitment is amazing. That kind of love is worth it even if it means a few sleepless nights.

I don't doubt that two small children may make head spin some days and I will wonder if their is enough of me to go around. I will worry about dumb things and life will have its ups and downs. Yes, my hands are going to be full but they are big enough to juggle it. And my heart is going to grow that July day even bigger and life without my two little boys will be totally unimaginable.

So for me I try very hard to never say anything negative to new parents or parents-to-be. I know they hear enough junk and I always speak my truth which is "Just remember this too shall pass and focus on the reality that it is so worth it. There is nothing like having your own family, absolutely nothing like it".

A Saturday Drive

We woke up per usual to little feet pitter pattering around his room waiting for someone to come get him. With the standard sigh as I pulled myself from our comfortable bed, I went to rescue my boy. A soft cry for "Momma" as he heard my door open... and it begin just it like it does most days. Except this day, Momma packed a bag for just one and after a delicious breakfast of doughnuts and chocolate milk we pilled in the car to drive 3 hrs to meet his MiMi and CorCor.

We pulled in at the exact same time and out jumped my parents eager to see their boy. I watched as his eyes immediately lit up. All through lunch Mom and Dad were ignored as he enjoyed to attention that only grandparents can give. As we left he grabbed my mom's hand and off he gladly went to their car. Without even the slightest glance or apprehension, he climbed in and waved "byebye".

I leaned in and he planted a big kiss on both me and his Dad and he was ready to go. Perhaps it was the promise of dirt, tractors, dogs and lots of boy fun or just the love he has for his grandparents. All I know, the one left sad to part was me and only me.

I am so proud of the little boy I am raising. I love his independence and joy for life. I have always preached the importance of independence and security and for me I know we are doing our job when he can leave us without a tear. I know he knows that Mom and Dad are just a phone call away and we always come back. Chances are we are missed in the moments where only Mom can make it better and when Dad plays just the right way but overall he is happy and content being apart. Absences does make the heart grow fonder and for his Dad and I this a great way to spend some quality time together and reconnect. Our marriage is our children's greatest gift and its up to us make sure we honor it and nourish it. Not to mention the baby boy rapidly growing in my belly. I need to make sure that we are ready for his arrival as his brother.

As we drove away and sadness crept through my heart, I remembered that before I knew we would back on the same road driving back to meet our boy both rested and rejuvenated. Something that I believe is good for the soul and the family.

A Mother's Day Challenge

As yet another year races by I find myself faced with my 3rd Mother's Day. I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day much like Valentine's Day I find the day to be more a marketing ploy than anything. Mothers & Fathers alike have big, hard jobs and they should be honored for it but I think it should be a daily thing not a once a year I will stop and say your great.
In all honesty the year it meant the most to me was a year that some claimed was not mine to celebrate. I was carrying him in my belly instead of holding my baby boy in arms and some felt that I had not earned my mom card yet. I was just about full term and pretty miserable thanks to high blood pressure and irregular contractions. I will probably be myphed for the rest of my life for those comments because there is no harder job than baking a baby. In my mind your a mother the minute the + sign appears, end of story.
So this Mother's day, I challenge you to look to the pregnant women in your life and stop for a moment and give them some love. Stop yourself from sharing battle stories, imparting advice or telling them to enjoy the peace now because all hell is about to break lose just say congratulations you are about to get the best gift in the world. Because really, they are and the rest of it is just a mix of good and bad days. And the good make the bad more than worth it because they are your kids. A living, breathing reminder of your love for your partner. Proof that even with all the bad in the world, there still is good.

A reason why #2 is more fun

While preparing for the first baby life is consumed with learning all about baby gear and what is the best out there. Your life revolves around safety tests and some slight panic on how in the world are you ever going to acquire all this expensive stuff that babies need. Momma's everywhere share their best and worst products and you are left weeding through all this new found knowledge to select what you love the most for you and your little one.  If your like me you gather tons of goodies, ignore the advice from others who may know what they are talking about and basically realize 6 months down the line that you do not like all your stuff. I hated my infant car seat with a passion. I could have listened to my Grandmother. She promise me that I would hate it but instead I listen to the masses. I learned my lesson. It sucked. So far it took me 3 strollers to find one I loved and we are on infant seat #2.

When #2 comes around, you have so much of the stuff that you need already and suddenly preparing for this baby is a lot of fun. I know what I like and I know what I don't. I have been there already so I have an idea of what I used and what I didn't. I know baby brands and I know which ones work for us. It is great fun to know enough to just enjoy collecting sweet blankets, clothes, and such. This time I fret over so much less and spend more time just staring at my sweet baby boy's new clothes and goodies. Not that I have a lot of time to stare at anything with a crazy 2 year old under foot but honestly I can say all this time around is better.

I know that these baby kicks will one day be painful and that sooner than later I will swell and feel gross and be hot all the time. So today, I will enjoy feeling the babe flip and kick and remember that even if I am more tired than I feel I can handle and I hate the scale with a passion this is a blessing. A gift that not all get with ease or ever. So for me even through the sickness and exhaustion I find that pregnancy with number 2 is way more fun.

Freshly Baked and in Public

I was lurking on twitter today, an often occurrence when I am too tired to chat, and I ran across a conversation amongst some of the mommas on when they took their brand new baby out in public for the first time. I will honestly say I was very excited to hear others opinions on what I feel is a hotly debated topic.

I am pretty low-key parent. I am not a germaphobe at all and really do not understand the fuss about keeping life sterile with new babies. As my ob said minutes after delivery "his days of sterile living are over".  And let me preface this with I mean full term babies. Preemies are a game changer and I cannot speak to that style of parenting at all. But, me, I wasn't worried at all about public places with EJ. Honestly, I was more worried about me freaking out because I don't do cooped up well. I am very go, go type of person and being told I need to stay inside for 6 or 8 weeks is enough to make me batshitcrazy. Just ask my husband mid-February when I have it deemed it too cold to leave for weeks which means I have been at home for days on end. I am many things and nice and sane are not them.

I was pleasantly surprised to read women after women announce they left for the first within a week of their little one's birth. I took a brutal chastising from a few members of my family for taking EJ out to a very late lunch when he was 6 days old, aka we were the only ones there and he was tucked away in my sling. Which meant not a single person could touch him and you could not see him unless I showed you his sweet self. I needed the fresh air and life outside of my inlaws (yes we were living there at the moment) which meant venturing into public.

Since then I have taken note of what others have done simply because I wondered if I was weird. I  can say that one thing I have notice which each additional child parents seem to care less and less. I even had one friend tell me of another who stopped for a Margarita with her husband and freshly baked baby # 4 on the way home from the hospital. Hysterical!  I guess I just believe that life goes on and things need to get done. I am pretty sure I am not going to be able to pause life for 2 months come August and quite frankly I have no desire to do so.  But, that is why I must have summer babies, no flu season for me. I am also the obnoxious person that follows up every person who questions me on my thoughts with you know some people take public transportation home from the hospital right? And to me that is about as germy as you can get.

Flashback

Seriously where has the time gone? Today, I awoke to a knock on the door and a faint "Momma"  Yes, our little boy not only sleeps soundly in a full size bed he now has figured out how to get himself out of bed, open his door and go get his parents. He is such a big boy and it is so hard for me to believe that this was him this time last year.

Now he looks like this... 

When did he grow up and how do I make it stop?

Cabo 2011

It has been awhile since Craig and I have vacationed and since EJ we have spent no more than 3 nights away. I have been proud of us for leaving him at all. I know so many parents who do not have the means to get away but thanks to a great family we have been lucky enough to get away here and there which something I feel strongly about. Craig and I are number one and the best gift we will ever give EJ and his sibling on the way is a healthy, happy marriage. And that happy marriage takes work, but so does anything worth having.
I can not recommend getting away for more than a day or two enough. It took us 3 days to get off "EJ" alarm but once we settled into enjoying each other and the decreased responsibilities it became a wonderful week. One that made us miss our boy dearly but one that we enjoyed so much that we have vowed to do again summer of 2012. Maybe not as exotic as Cabo, but mark my words we will get away just the two of us for a week.
As par for the course with this pregnancy I felt pretty awful. I wake up ok but by 3pm it's downhill. I learned that I needed to eat a big breakfast because by the time dinner rolled around. I just couldn't eat much. I hit 11 weeks in Cabo and after throwing up in 5 star restaurant on the beach I started praying hard that come next week this nausea will subside. Thank god for drugs is all I can say. They don't make it go away but at least I feel human for a bit.

First night there, pale and ready for some sun!

Yes, I feel a bad as I look.

2010: A Recap

As we embark another year with all the hopes and anticipations of what this year will bring. I can't help but reflect on the year we just left and all we have been through... the great, the good, the bad and the ugly.

We ushered in the New Year with a cousin reunion. A concert and football game back-to-back left us with a packed night but lots of fun memories.  A moment of uncertainty hit our little family as we experienced yet another job loss, but before we had time to fret too much life turned around and Craig landed a fantastic job with a company that he had been trying to get on with for years. Craig jumped on an airplane for man's weekend of fishing while the boy and I spent a weekend snowed in to a lake house with my oldest and dearest friends. We baptised our babe and spent a crazy weekend alone. I got smart and regained control of my life and emotions by removing the IUD that had left me a fragment of myself. Nothing like a hormone induced crazy fest to make you value your sanity.
Spring arrived and EJ moved from crawling to walking and grew a full head of hair overnight. I finally got to use my wedding flutes as we toasted to us and our day.  We celebrated Mother's Day rocking out to Zac Brown, I turned a year older and so did Craig.  Craig finally got his hearts desire in a fishing canoe and we spent a relaxing long weekend with a favorite couple that lives way too far away. We celebrated our boy and his first birthday and then celebrated the fact we made it through our first year as parents in one piece with night away and some Phish. We watched my brother get married to an old friend and ushered in the fall full of Rocky Top Pride. Craig put his nose to ground and prepared for the GMAT and EJ became a total toddler.
As the fall ended and holidays began we spent some quality time on my parents farm and ate ourselves into many a food coma. A plus sign left us full of excitement as we realised that 2011 would bring us a new addition. Craig interviewed and got accepted into UGA MBA program and after a whirlwind Christmas family tour we heard our sweet new baby's heart beat for the first time, fast and perfect.
The year concluded with a night of friends and food. There is nothing quite as special is finding other couples like you to share your time with and celebrate together.  This little family of ours is truly blessed. I look to 2011 with hope and faith that through the good and the bad we will continue to grow and continue to love each other more with each new day.

Thankful on a Thursday.

Life has been busy lately. We seem to go from one place to another. Spending our days with one project after another to complete. And as each day passes by a little too quickly, I seem to feel more of a loss and less completion.

I am one more day away from babyhood turning toddlerhood. One day, the sight of me will not bring a huge grin and great big bear hug. One day, I will be boring old mom who doesn't get it. I will be uncool and will need to walk three steps behind him. My heart breaks a little for those days to come. I was reminded this week that these are the best days of my life. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with life, bills, toddlerhood that I swear it can't be true. But, if you take step back and look at the generations that have walk this road before the majority have nothing but fondness for these days. Yes, they have more money, more stability, and more things but there is always a special place in their heart for the memory of life as young family. Its bittersweet but I try to soak it in and remember that there will be a day I will miss this moment. Even yearn for it.

This week, I have tried to live in the day. Ignore the mess that is our bathroom. Ignore the disaster that is our laundry room. I have stayed home everyday and done a lot of nothing. I rediscovered my love for creativity, designing some labels and thought ahead to our holiday card. I took a nap because I was totally worn out from playing outside all morning with my kid.  We have had a family walk at the park the last three nights and they have been amazing. Craig enjoys the quiet and peace of the outdoors. I enjoy the togetherness of our family with no other distractions. I squashed my mild panic attack as it occurred to me that there is no way EJ will make his bedtime if we take a walk every night. Instead, I centered my focus on what really was important... that we were being active as a family, that we were together and that we ate healthy every night even it meant staying up an extra 30 minutes so I could cook. I overcame the urge every night to freak out that my precious schedule was being tampered with and just enjoyed us.

I snuggled with my husband instead of popping out of bed. I have just enjoyed my life this week.  We have laughed, we have made messes; we have just hung out. I am vowing to be better about staying still, being home and keeping my cleaning freak-outs minimal. Because I am so blessed.

This week I am thankful that I get to be a wife to a wonderful man, that I was blessed to be a Mom and that through thick and thin “our” little family is really all that matters.

Thankful on a Thursday is brought to you by The Outdoor Wife.

Check her out she is all kinds of inspiring.

All Smiles Here

My little guy is one resistant little boy. After days of whining, drooling, wanting nothing more than to cuddle and just all around unhappy, his fever broke.

Saturday we woke up to this...

A very happy and energetic little boy!

And he rest of the weekend he was back to his old self. 

Loving his food.

 

Playing outside.

 

And back to running. Lots and lots of running. 

Hunger strike

Reel Baby is now a Reel Toddler. He talks nonstop even though most of it is gibberish. He is prone to frustrated screams and went from eating almost anything you put in front of him to refusing everything. He shakes is head no and spits food out. Yesterday's love will be tomorrows hate.

It didn't not take long for me to realize this is part of the gig with a toddler. There is something about realizing that you are an independent person  that inspires a fierce desire to push back. And when meal time rolls around pushing back is the main experience. I admit that I am weird about his food. I want it to be healthy and I try very hard to make sure he has fresh food. I make as much as I can from scratch but sometimes you have to go with what works and for our picky toddler here are some of the stuff that "works" for him.

If you are going through this stage these might give you some ideas to try or if you have been here and have some advice I would love to hear it.

1. Baby Food Pouches

Info

 EJ will NOT let me feed him anymore. He is way too independent for that kind of momma help. He bats the spoon away or grabs it out of my hand. Which results in puree everywhere and even in places the dogs will not clean up. But, he also hasn't gotten the spoon down enough to not spill  puree everywhere. Now I hand him a pouch and voila he can drink it. Plus, he gets veggies which is something I have always struggled with getting him to eat.

2. Yogurt Smoothies

Info

Another item that he can drink. I just pour it into a sippy cup and off he goes. I buy the Yo Baby simply because it is full fat milk and my kid is skin and bones. We need all the fat we can get. I have some great recipes for homemade smoothies but it tends to make too much and a big mess so I just buy it, I know lazy.

3. Homemade Muffins.
I can throw anything in these muffins... veggies, fruits, whole wheat flour and he will eat them. Instead of oil I use applesauce, I always use regular butter and Greek yogurt works well instead of sour cream. I make a big batch and freeze them in a Ziploc bag. Pop it the microwave for 10 secs you have quick and easy snack or breakfast.

4. Breakfast Casserole Muffins
I discovered over Christmas that EJ loves our family holiday casserole. It is nothing more than bread, eggs, milk, a bit of butter, cheese and ham. It's easy and good but makes a huge casserole dish full. It would take him months to eat a whole one and for some reason its doesn't work to make a small batch. One of my favorite food blogs sent out this recipe and it got my brain working. I adapted it to my Mom's classic dish and it was perfect. Again freeze what you don't eat and you have an easy meal full of protein and tasty enough to inspire a picky toddler to ask for more.

The one thing I have learned is adapting any and everything so that it is in a form that he can handle and feed himself. Independence is key.

OK,  Mommas what are your tricks? I would love to hear them!

Mommy needs a Martini

Once upon a time in a big southern city lived a young, energetic event planner. She spent her days planning parties and counting down until her next vacation. Such a workaholic was she, but once the day was over she relaxed. She drank wine, she vacationed across America, she knew how to be still. She learned the art of turning her brain off and relishing in a good old fashion chick flick.

One day she woke up with prince charming by her side and a sweet babe sleeping next door. She was living her fairy tale. But with this fairy tale came a new set of stresses; a different life all together. She received the gift of spending her days making sure her babe was clean, happy and full and those former workaholic ways started to resurface.  But with this job there is no PTO and there is no closing up shop for the day. This job is 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and this girl turned momma has found herself a bit haggard.

Learning that there is such a thing as clean enough, that there will always be more laundry, that take out is OK sometimes and that my version of supermom is a bit lofty and tad unrealistic has been a major issue. My house is really clean, the babe is fast asleep and instead of stopping for a lunch break I caught myself stressing about laundry. Yes, there are at least 5 loads to do. Yes, I need to put away clothes and do something about the clothes that fall out of the closest when I open the door. But, waiting until after lunch is OK.

Why was I so good at managing my time when I paid to do it and so bad it in my new role? Why do I put so much pressure on myself to justify my life at home by being the perfect housewife? Why can't I turn my brain off?

So today I am vowing to give myself some PTO, to relax a little more and realize that laundry and dishes can wait just like clients and flowers did once upon time. Today this Mommy is watching a silly movie and drinking some tea. Then tonight she is toasting to her Prince Charming with a stiff Martini while the baby is in bed.

Let's start a revolution

Can us Mommas please take a moment and chill out? No seriously, can we please stop judging one another, spend more time worrying about our own kids and stop obsessing over what others do?

Mom Bitches please hush, no one cares what you think and your demeaning attitude is rude and makes people defensive. I am well aware that have read every parenting book on the market and feel that it is the word of God telling you how to raise a perfect child. I can assure you my child is not perfect in any one's eyes other than my own and I don't buy half the stuff out there. I could care less that you only breast fed, never gave your child food before 6 months and feel that it is unhealthy for a baby to sleep through the night. I am very proud of you for being the best mom you can be and will never judge you... so please refrain from judging me. I am doing my very best and I am OK with it.

On a daily basis, I read really rude comments on other people's blog posts. Like this adorable letter one blogger wrote to her mom. This blogger points out the worst of the mean comments and there are some really ugly comments. I have to say I agree with her. The meanness baffles me. Please calm down. I do not need the facts screamed at me. I read too, I also choose what I believe based on their medical degrees. And sometimes, I just don't care and do what I think is best.

I am, also, faced with these rude women in real life, like the day when someone told me my child was too skinny and if I was still breastfeeding him then he would weigh more. Really?? Do I know you? If I did, you would know I was living with my in-laws in a not happy place when my milk came in and then I moved 3 weeks later and had never felt more alone in my life. I was miserable and my milk was water. Guess what, he wasn't gaining weight then either so per doctor's request I supplemented and then I gave up. Will I breast fed my next child? Most likely. Will I do it longer if it works? Probably. Do I care at all if you do or don't? Nope. It's your body and your kid, not mine.

I really want to start a revolution of women that support regardless of views. Women who love other women for being the best mothers that they know how to be and not concern themselves with their choices. Cause you know what, motherhood is hard work. We need each other, especially other moms because we get it. We have been there.

I love myself some formula, hated how much it cost, loved making my own baby food, cloth diaper and spend every day trying to be the best mother I can. I love my kid with all my heart and try really hard to make sure my husband knows I love him more every day. I strive daily to be the best wife and mom I can. But you know what only I can define what that means.

So anyone want to join me on my quest to always be a supporter and never a hater?

The dark side of being Mom

Life can sneak up on you and explode sometimes. A phone call, a knock on the door, letter... something happens and the ball drops and that moment of bliss pauses and you wonder is this really happening?

Sometimes you wake up and wonder how did we get here?

My baby brother is a heroin addict. This amazingly smart young man has spent the better part of the last five spiraling out of control has he fell deeper into his own demons. 8 months ago our family figured it out and we got him help. My parents found the best rehab money could buy, shipped him off and my mother traveled 7 hours each way weekly to attend family therapy.

She was his angel, she was his mother. She stopped her life and focused on him. The family banned together and rallied him on. We knew he could do it; he was too smart to loose his life to his addictions.

We were wrong, his first month with any freedom, with any hope of responsibility he found himself right back to where he started. I can't wrap my brain around his addictions, its beyond me. I kills me to think that my little love is loosing his uncle to this illness. That we, as a family, are being robbed of his presence because of drugs.

I watch my baby run around and wonder what will our struggles be. Will I have to stand by and watch him ruin his life? Will I be able to do it, will it kill me? You are a parent the rest of your life and sometimes your children choose a path you cannot join them on. Its scary sometimes to realize that our babes will grow and have a path to live and all we can do is hope and pray that their life is the one we dreamed for them. No mother dreams of the bad. Tonight lets say a prayer for the mother's that loved their kids through the real bad and in the end still lost.

Fashion Sense?

How many of you spent at least a moment in of your pre-momma days pontificating on how you were not going to be a frumpy mom? I am pretty sure I made a snide comment about Juicy Jogging Suits when it suddenly became the new Mom uniform. I swore up and down that I would never wear ANYTHING but low rise pants. And even pregnant I refused to wear most maternity clothes because they were frumpy and I was entirely too young for them. No thank you, keep your awkwardly large V-necked tops to yourself.

And then baby boy was born. And the first 6 months of his life happened. There were days when my hubby told me I smelled, asked when the last time I showered, I wore the same two or three outfits every day and when my mom bought me a juicy jogging suit I was ecstatic. On impulse, I dyed my hair back to its natural lite brown color, chopped it all off and forgot I owned make-up. That was a very bad idea, I am pretty sure my bleak outlook on life had something to do with the fact I avoided mirrors, the appearance was too much to handle. I was my own worst nightmare.

Suddenly, I started to feel better, I turned the hurdle on weight and it started to come off. I spent WAY too much at my former amazing hair stylist to get her to return my hair to its previous state and rediscovered make-up. I felt so much better.

Somewhere in the year of lost fashion, things turned weird. Recently, I was out at bar with some friends, I turned to the girls and said "did I miss something what is going on with trendy clothes?" I used to pride myself on my fashion sense but I am so not wearing those clothes. I mean really fanny packs? Coach or not, that is a don't in my book.

So here I am, a Mom. I wear my juicy running suits and running skirts most days. I sport shape-ups because they make legs burn and every little bit helps and thank god I am blond again. I like my day wear, I actually don't think its all that bad but when it come to date night, playdates with friends or girls night out. I am at a loss, what do I wear? I want to blend, I want to be cute, I am so confused on what to wear. I don't want to look like a time warp from 2005.

What have you done, to bridge the gap from young, hot single clothes to mom, married trendy clothes? Where do you shop? What's your favorite?

For the first time in my life I regret to inform you..I need a makeover!

please help,
Reel Momma

A baby phish fan?

One of the Atlanta suburbs was invaded by the iconic band PHISH this holiday weekend. PHISH is one of those bands that has a following, Grateful Dead style. People that love them, L.O.V.E. them and will follow them around all over the country to see their shows time and time again. It is a totally foreign concept to me. The thought of spending my entire summer traveling with a band and paying for tickets every night, not to mention the travel expenses, makes my frugal heart literally skip a few beats. But, when they come to my backyard for a few days, I will certainly get a baby-sitter and have a date night with my love.

I have been going to shows like this since High School. I love this type of music, however I tend to stand out. Most likely the pearl earrings that I typically wear, but I don't care. The people watching is as much entertainment as the music and this time I saw this world in a new light.

As we walked in I saw 2 very pregnant women and one had even painted their belly with future phish fan. OK not going to judge I went to Dave and Kenny at the same outdoor venue literally weeks before baby boy entered the world. But as I walk through the crowd to get a drink I see kids everywhere, like babies in Ergos and toddlers running around. Most sporting tie dye and thankfully all of them had ear plugs in.

Personally, I am not taking baby boy to a concert like that anytime soon and maybe ever. To me half the enjoyment is the babysitter and some alone time with my hubby.

I am not judging parents that do it by any means and I commend all of them for thinking to put ear plugs in their little ears, something that if I am being honest would not have thought to do. But, really am I weird to look at those kids running around while their parents dance to the music and think oh hell no?