Transitions

At this point I have transitioned from new mom to just mom to mom of two. And with this latest transition I have realized something...I am a much better mother to two kids than I ever was to one. Now let me say nothing pissed me off more than being told that you weren't really a parent until you had more than one kid. That thought process is rude and categorically untrue. But, for me and my journey through motherhood, I have discovered that Jack is getting a way better parent. And by default so is EJ.
I was fairly relaxed mom with EJ. I was not one of those hyperactive new moms that fretted over every little thing but I was lacking in confidence. I was wading through unfamiliar waters and with everyone's willingness to share their opinions with me all the time I was left totality insecure about my decisions. I wondered way more than I ever should and poor EJ got a momma who was a tid bit stressed out.
I took a hard look at myself the other day and I realized that I am so much more relaxed and gosh darn it I am confident. These boys are mine and I know what is best for them. I know that Jack may be just shy of six months but this little guy needs lots of sleep and that means to bed he heads at 6:30pm. Yes, that is early and all the books say another feeding should happen but for him I know its what is best. He, also, has the driest skin in the world so bath time is limited to twice a week. I know that EJ has to have structure or he goes insane and days that aren't structured well tend to end in screaming from everyone. Its just little things that I know about my kids that no one, not even dad at times, know.
I can trust my instincts and let life happen. We have a schedule and most days its the way life goes but I also let things interrupt it because that is life and my kids need to learn to be flexible. I know that EJ throws huge temper tantrums and the best way to handle it to send him to his room immediately. Time outs and redirecting may be the thing to do now but for us does not work. I am ok with telling others that. I don't kept my difference in parenting styles to myself. I just do what works for us. And sometimes that all you can  do is just listen to gut and say a prayer it works.

Advice and Crazy Moms

A friend posted this article on the book today and I found it so interesting. 

Among discussing the ridiculous rivalry that exists in within the realm of Motherhood today it also had her advice for new moms. Honestly, I wish I had read this before EJ was born it may not have made a difference but it really is some of the best advice. There is nothing as wonderful or crazy as motherhood, nothing. But, with all things there is a learning curve. The person you become when you are under extreme sleep depravation is unrecognizable. The emotions are all over the place and not taking time for yourself will result in one insane momma, trust me I know. I learned the hard way. Take a moment and read it. It's a good read for sure. 

What are the most important pieces of advice that you can offer to new moms?

JZ: Here are some healthful tid bits for women to savor as they embark on motherhood. Trust yourself. Rely on others.  Ask for help. Seek support. Connect with loved ones. Take time for yourself. Expect to feel amazing, awful, and everything in between. Throw perfection out the window!

Be present. Get professional guidance if you feel you want/need it.  Read books about parenting if you find them helpful but ultimately be sure to integrate their wisdom with your own mothering methods. Respect your body and the postpartum journey. Curb unrealistic expectations. Be the role model you always dreamed of having.  Be wholeheartedly honest with yourself. Experience whatever it is you are experiencing. Denying feelings does not make them go away.  Feelings are feelings not facts. Change is possible. Communication is key. Depression and anxiety do not go away on their own.

Rest when you can.  Honor your emotional temperature.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about being you.  It’s never too late to revisit your childhood experiences – doing so will benefit and enliven the family you’ve created. Don’t take little people’s behaviors personally.  Newborns/infants do not manipulate.  Treat yourself like a queen when you can (whatever that means to you).  As soon as you feel you finally “figured it out”, “it” will change.  Be flexible.  LAUGH. Address burning feelings. Whatever you are feeling, other mothers have felt.  You are not alone.  No feeling is off limits. (New) motherhood is ubiquitously overwhelming.  Sleep deprivation can make you meet a version of yourself you never wanted to know. There is not one way to give birth, feed, sleep, or raise your child. Do what feels resonant for you and your baby, not what is trendy.  Plan and then roll with what arises. Play and enjoy the ever-changing ride!

Jessica Zucker is a psychologist in Los Angeles specializing in women’s health with a focus on transitions in motherhood, perinatal and postpartum mood disorders, and early parent-child attachment.

Boy Momma

Source: etsy.com via LA on Pinterest

This is me, at least for now. I pray that one day we add some pink to our world but for now I find hot wheels in my make-up bag and trucks in bed. I bathe off dirt and stickiness many times a day. My son literally growls at me and runs away laughing. The movie Cars is shown on repeat here and I laugh to myself as I watch my boy and his father wrestle on the floor every night imagining to myself the picture that it will soon be with 2 little boys loving on their daddy that way. I believe strongly in that boys are boys and that their heart is different from start. I know that even though Momma wants to stop every fall and comfort every hurt that they have the need to explore and see the world in a way that I may never fully understand.

I love some of things I have found lately via Pineterest (move over facebook this now the world's greatest time suck) and thought I would share it with you. If you are a boy momma you will most likely be able to relate to these things just as much as me.

Source: minglovemark.tumblr.com via Heather*Proper on Pinterest

Source: 3.bp.blogspot.com via Heather*Proper on Pinterest

Source: colourherhope.com via

Source: itsallbeendonebefore.tumblr.com via Jaimie on Pinterest

A Mother's Day Challenge

As yet another year races by I find myself faced with my 3rd Mother's Day. I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day much like Valentine's Day I find the day to be more a marketing ploy than anything. Mothers & Fathers alike have big, hard jobs and they should be honored for it but I think it should be a daily thing not a once a year I will stop and say your great.
In all honesty the year it meant the most to me was a year that some claimed was not mine to celebrate. I was carrying him in my belly instead of holding my baby boy in arms and some felt that I had not earned my mom card yet. I was just about full term and pretty miserable thanks to high blood pressure and irregular contractions. I will probably be myphed for the rest of my life for those comments because there is no harder job than baking a baby. In my mind your a mother the minute the + sign appears, end of story.
So this Mother's day, I challenge you to look to the pregnant women in your life and stop for a moment and give them some love. Stop yourself from sharing battle stories, imparting advice or telling them to enjoy the peace now because all hell is about to break lose just say congratulations you are about to get the best gift in the world. Because really, they are and the rest of it is just a mix of good and bad days. And the good make the bad more than worth it because they are your kids. A living, breathing reminder of your love for your partner. Proof that even with all the bad in the world, there still is good.

You know your pregnant when

You stand in front of an open fridge and freezer because you are that overheated

You sit down on the ground to watch your son play on his swing set only to realize that you may not be able to get back up. 

Your son sleeps with you and your husband and instead of loving the family time you contemplate moving rooms because you are not only being kicked from the inside, someone on the outside is kicking you too!

Life pisses you off. Seriously, life is on my sh*t list today. 

You are starving and nauseated at the same time. 

Don't you wish you pregnant?? 

Honestly, I am super thankful that I can not only make a baby with ease. I carry them with little issues but seriously y'all its hard work this business of baking a baby. 

Men have it way too easy, way too easy. 

A day in the life

Today I have
*showered
* made muffins for the boy's breakfast
*made my husband a breakfast sandwich & packed his lunch
* Made and consumed a few cups of coffee
* changed 3 diapers
* cleaned up one very bloody lip and provided lots of Momma cuddles and soothing
* made 3 burp clothes for baby Jack
* Prepared dinner and smelled the goodness all morning
* Enjoyed a pb & j with my little boy and laughed over a banana
* Successfully messed up and cleaned a kitchen
* completed 2 loads of laundry
* dealt with both good and bad behavior

and its only 1pm. A day in the life of the momma is a busy one. One that I love more and more with each passing day.

The evolving role of Mom

It's no secret that I am doing exactly what I was made for. I am good at this job of mine. You know the job where I manage a husband, a toddler, and a house. I can stick to a budget with the best of them. I can sniff out a bargain on just about anything. I am creative and organized and very clean. And most days I wake up very happy to yet another day doing what I love for the people I love the most.
Not to say I wasn't a great at my profession. I am good event planner. I can create it, organize it and implement it and some days I miss the face paced world of suits, flowers, and tablecloths. I laugh to myself as I reflect on days not too long ago where while in a suit and heels I stopped traffic in Downtown Atlanta so I could get my chartered buses lined up for a shuttle. I used to thrive on clipboards, spreadsheets and budgets. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely do not miss the hours and crazy clients. I do not miss that my only free time ever was before 10am on even given day and the special day of others always took precedent to any plans I ever formed.
I get asked often if I will ever go back to it or some other profession. I find it funny that this day in age it is just assumed that once school starts our job at home is done. I, personally, do not feel that way at all.
Once school starts managing life is a priority. Suddenly, we are juggling school, homework, extracurricular activities and emotionally supporting the needs of an entire busy family. The availability of Mom to handle all kinds of new roles to me seems to be an asset. Whether it is running carpool, errands for the weeks needs and making sure healthy food is readily available for hungry busy kids I feel like a Mom's work is not done.
Just because the bottles have been retired, diapers have been replaced with underwear and babies are nothing more than a memory it doesn't mean Mom is any less important. I admire working moms, I honestly think I would loose my cookies if I was one. We would certainly live on takeout with dirty clothes in squalor if I tried to juggle all those responsibilities but I do feel like as society we need to back off the pressure of stay at home moms. I spend a lot of time justifying why I am just not sure that in 5 years I will restart my career. Of course, if its a financial issue I will do it in a heartbeat but if we can afford to not I am not sure I will. I pretty sure I would be more useful being a room mom, a chauffeur and making sure that if my kids want to do something that logistics will not be the reason we do not do something. Am I the only who feels this way?

The difference of a new pregnancy

Can I just say that I thought I had a handle of what being pregnant entailed after, you know, experiencing it once before. As I watched the plus sign appear there was no panic of what! there is a baby in there and there is only one way out! There was no how am I going to feel? Is Craig going to run away from home for watching me simultaneously loose my grasp on reality and gain a few pounds? Instead I smiled to myself, remembered the wonder of a new baby smells and cuddles and thought to myself I got this.

And then I got sick. It started slow, a little sick to my stomach one morning and within a week, well, I wanted to die. If I started throwing up I could not stop until there was a total system evacuation. If I manage to stop myself from throwing up I could barely muster up the strength to get off the couch.  With EJ I was fine, never once got sick. Let's all remember who missed the first trimester completely. Yeah, I felt that good. This time around I would have never missed anything. I have honesty had moments where I would give anything to loose my sense of smell. I can smell out ANYTHING, anything I tell you. And that is not a great gift with a toddler in diapers, two dogs and husband who isn't bothered by dirty dishes.

With EJ all I did was sleep. I would be asleep by 7pm and sleep until 7 or 8am the next day. A few slight wakeful moments but nothing major. This time I am part bat. I am so nauseated at night that my prescription medicine often does not even work. I lay there on a heating pad because my slight bump is already causing lower back pain and my hips feel like they are being cranked open. I can't get comfortable and am not even that tired. 

So fellow Mommas don't think you got this when the time comes for number 2 or 3 or 4. Because if I have learned anything every single pregnancy is very different and there is nothing standard about growing a human.

Manic Meal Planning

I have been doing it on and off for the last few months... Meal Planning that is. And when I do it successfully I am always so thankful. Yes, I stay at home and one would think I would have plenty of time to dream up meals on the fly.
But guess what? My child ate my brain.
It started off slow with bouts of preggo brain. "Oh I forgot to renew my car tags." "Oh I forgot to clean the bathroom before company." Minor things that were fixable, not a huge deal. However, it has progressed into full on motherhood dementia. Like I left the water running in the sink and left the house for 2 HOURS. You read that right, for 2 hours the water in my sink ran NONSTOP. Awesome.
And guess what my least favorite time of the day is around 430... its EJs cocktail hour. And normally results in him being fussy which makes Momma fussy. And the strong desire to throw my hands in the air and yell "I just don't care.. Take-out it is" results.
Which completely counteracts my desire to be waistline and budget conscience. I started slowly with making lists on Sunday when the sales come out. Planning our meals accordingly and attempting to shop ONCE each week. No daily 20 dollar runs for dinner. I am by no means an expert but its been working. Yesterday I score $150 worth of groceries for 90 bucks by sale shopping and using coupons. And no I do not buy a bunch of junk. I am big on staying away from processed foods, the result of growing up in a Cardiologist's family. I grew up believing that salt was the devil's dust.
Because I am nice I thought I might start sharing some of my easy recipes that work great for meal planning aka if you so choose you can make ahead and heat up. But in return please share some of the goodness you make. Variety is key. I have a spreadsheet going of all my meals and it helps me lots.
Our dinners this week looks like this..

Sunday- Gumbo and Cheese toast
Monday- PW's 16 minute Beef and Bean Burritos (I use ground turkey)
Tuesday- Ginger Chicken with Zucchini and Onions (a throw back to yummy goodness that is Benihana's)
Wednesday- Kabobs (its predicted to be 80, seriously fall where are you?)
Thursday- Night out
Friday- Meat Ball sandwiches (turkey and homemade rolls)
Saturday- Deconstructed Chicken Pot pie

And that's our week, you should also know I make the husband breakfast (breakfast sandwiches) and his lunch every day. His coworkers know when I fail to send breakfast because is mood is that bad and if left him to eat lunch on his own he either skips it or eats french fries. Which is a no go when trying to diet, which he is. So my family eats ALL its meals for around 120 a week. Pretty good, huh?

So if you want specific recipe let me know and I will post it. Do you meal plan? What are your tricks?

A shift in priorities

I have been halfway participating in Blair's McFatty Monday for last 8 months. It hasn't really been working for me. Others have had quite the success stories and me, well, not so much. It is not all my fault. I screwed with my hormone stability after EJ's birth by inserting the Mirena IUD that was a really.bad.idea. I mean REALLY.BAD.IDEA.

I was wreck. I was certifiably batshitcrazy. I was miserable. I could not loose weight. In February, I wised up and removed the rod of Satan and things started slowly improving. Hormones can kick your butt. When I am jacked up on hormones I am a different person. No, seriously, I am. And guess what? I really do not like that person. I am short tempered. I hate my awesome husband for no reason and the worst side effect I am chubby. So let's just say I cannot wait until the last baby arrives and hubs gets sniped. He can whine all he wants. LA on hormones strains our marriage and I went through childbirth. We will not even discuss the months leading up to it. That's the least the men in our lives can do.

:: Steps off soapbox::

Regardless of the reason, I just have not been able to be successful in my attempts and that has been very discouraging and resulted in a lot of throwing in the towel.

Until today.

Until I watch the Doctors, a show I typically hate.

After watching a super healthy doctor eat a crappy diet with no exercise for 5 days and the affect it had on his body and mind something clicked. WOW, that is me.

My energy levels are not what the used to be.

I have a love/hate relationship with the greasy food I love. Hate the way I feel after said meal. Love the way it tastes so I go back for more. I used to be so healthy, so energetic, and so happy and care free.


Today, I am sleepy a lot. My skin has seen better days and life can stress me out in two point five seconds.

Yes, a lot has changed. I have child that I am responsible for. My job is at home now. Things have changed but my zest for life should be the same or greater and its just not.

So, today my priorities have changed, no more desperate attempts for scales to produce a certain number or for clothes to look a certain way. No more staring at old pictures and lusting after that flat, firm belly.

I am a Mother. I baked a baby for 10 months. I birthed him. I nursed him. I wear the armor of motherhood... loose skin, stretch marks, wider hips and not-so-perky boobs. But, I have a walking and talking product of my deep love for my husband. A child who stares back at me with my own eyes.

Instead of working towards a number, I am working towards health. A better blood pressure, an active life style and diet free of junk.

S0 what are your long term goals? How have your priorities changed?

The Plague

Today I am running on empty. I am tired, irritable and emotional. I cried while cooking breakfast and honestly did not even react when my kid pulled my hair. Its been one of those weeks.

EJ is sick for the first time ever. And really that is crazy. He is 14 1/2 months old. But, beside a few minor colds and an ear infection that we did not know he had, he has been perfectly healthy. And no, I am not a germ freak at.all. Y'all my kid eats dirt. I have no choice, get over germs or lose my mind.

See DIRT all around his mouth.

Until this week when he started running 102+ fevers. I get its a virus, it was bound to happen. But man am I tired. Emotional drained from worrying. Physically drained from a serious lack of sleep.

Welcome to Motherhood! I am sure the day that he wakes up in the middle of the night yakking everywhere and in my dazed state I find myself cleaning vom off the floor will be worse. But, for today, its the worst we have had and Momma is tired.

Sick or not, the kid is pretty darn adorable. Don't you think?

Homework from my gal Jess

Have you visited Straight Talk with Jess? She runs, she is a lawyer, her daughter is a model in the making and after losing her momma to cancer she has a life mission to kick cancer to the curb. She hails from Texas and shares my love for all things music and cooking. Recently, she created a green chile recipe for a cooking contest at Whole Foods Austin.

The Green Chile Throwdow

Doesn't that look so good? This gal is awesome and I am pretty darn lucky to call her a friend.
Earlier this week she gave me a few questions to answer. Its been one of those weeks here in Atlanta so it took me a few days to get it knocked out. But, with further delay here ya go!


1. What is your favorite memory from High School?
It was a fall of our junior year, and the college crunch had begun. I had spent the better part of my life hearing SEC tales of football, parties and sororities from my parents and I couldn't be more excited to attend a state school in the South. Even though they went to Alabama, I had my sights set on checking out all the great schools and my first visit was to the University of Tennessee. My oldest, dearest and best friend's dad was an alum and he took us up for a football game. We toured the school, visited his frat house and went to the UT vs Bama football game. We sat right behind some of the football hostess. I decided then and there that I was going to Tennessee. I was going to rush and I was going to be a football hostess. All things that I accomplished. And let me tell ya it was a great experience.


2. What's your favorite thing to do with "me" time?
"Me" time is a work in progress. I forgot how to have it for a bit and was pretty obvious. I have learned the hard way that we can't be everything to everyone and that stopping and passing off the babe is very needed at times. Now that I have learned the magic of MDO, momma is finding time for herself. So far I have gotten a pedicure, walked Target with a Pumpkin Spice Latte (oh how I love fall) and sat in a completely silent room reading with coffee. I loved it all, a lot. So if I had to choose a favorite, I would say anything involving quiet, its pretty darn amazing.


3. What gets you through a crazy, stressful day?
One word- BEDTIME (and maybe a goblet glass of red wine ;) )
I just focus that the day will be over eventually and tomorrow brings a new day. And hopefully things will be better. They aren't always but eventually they are.

4. What is your favorite indulgence?
A Mani/Pedi. That hour and half makes me feel pretty, relaxed and human again. It is the best 40 bucks I spend every month.

Mommy needs a Martini

Once upon a time in a big southern city lived a young, energetic event planner. She spent her days planning parties and counting down until her next vacation. Such a workaholic was she, but once the day was over she relaxed. She drank wine, she vacationed across America, she knew how to be still. She learned the art of turning her brain off and relishing in a good old fashion chick flick.

One day she woke up with prince charming by her side and a sweet babe sleeping next door. She was living her fairy tale. But with this fairy tale came a new set of stresses; a different life all together. She received the gift of spending her days making sure her babe was clean, happy and full and those former workaholic ways started to resurface.  But with this job there is no PTO and there is no closing up shop for the day. This job is 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and this girl turned momma has found herself a bit haggard.

Learning that there is such a thing as clean enough, that there will always be more laundry, that take out is OK sometimes and that my version of supermom is a bit lofty and tad unrealistic has been a major issue. My house is really clean, the babe is fast asleep and instead of stopping for a lunch break I caught myself stressing about laundry. Yes, there are at least 5 loads to do. Yes, I need to put away clothes and do something about the clothes that fall out of the closest when I open the door. But, waiting until after lunch is OK.

Why was I so good at managing my time when I paid to do it and so bad it in my new role? Why do I put so much pressure on myself to justify my life at home by being the perfect housewife? Why can't I turn my brain off?

So today I am vowing to give myself some PTO, to relax a little more and realize that laundry and dishes can wait just like clients and flowers did once upon time. Today this Mommy is watching a silly movie and drinking some tea. Then tonight she is toasting to her Prince Charming with a stiff Martini while the baby is in bed.

Let's start a revolution

Can us Mommas please take a moment and chill out? No seriously, can we please stop judging one another, spend more time worrying about our own kids and stop obsessing over what others do?

Mom Bitches please hush, no one cares what you think and your demeaning attitude is rude and makes people defensive. I am well aware that have read every parenting book on the market and feel that it is the word of God telling you how to raise a perfect child. I can assure you my child is not perfect in any one's eyes other than my own and I don't buy half the stuff out there. I could care less that you only breast fed, never gave your child food before 6 months and feel that it is unhealthy for a baby to sleep through the night. I am very proud of you for being the best mom you can be and will never judge you... so please refrain from judging me. I am doing my very best and I am OK with it.

On a daily basis, I read really rude comments on other people's blog posts. Like this adorable letter one blogger wrote to her mom. This blogger points out the worst of the mean comments and there are some really ugly comments. I have to say I agree with her. The meanness baffles me. Please calm down. I do not need the facts screamed at me. I read too, I also choose what I believe based on their medical degrees. And sometimes, I just don't care and do what I think is best.

I am, also, faced with these rude women in real life, like the day when someone told me my child was too skinny and if I was still breastfeeding him then he would weigh more. Really?? Do I know you? If I did, you would know I was living with my in-laws in a not happy place when my milk came in and then I moved 3 weeks later and had never felt more alone in my life. I was miserable and my milk was water. Guess what, he wasn't gaining weight then either so per doctor's request I supplemented and then I gave up. Will I breast fed my next child? Most likely. Will I do it longer if it works? Probably. Do I care at all if you do or don't? Nope. It's your body and your kid, not mine.

I really want to start a revolution of women that support regardless of views. Women who love other women for being the best mothers that they know how to be and not concern themselves with their choices. Cause you know what, motherhood is hard work. We need each other, especially other moms because we get it. We have been there.

I love myself some formula, hated how much it cost, loved making my own baby food, cloth diaper and spend every day trying to be the best mother I can. I love my kid with all my heart and try really hard to make sure my husband knows I love him more every day. I strive daily to be the best wife and mom I can. But you know what only I can define what that means.

So anyone want to join me on my quest to always be a supporter and never a hater?

I almost gave up

I wasn't going to write a McFatty post this week. I was kind of sick of thinking about my weight, my husband told me that I was one dimensional and that's the only thing I talked about and lets be honest it is really hot outside. Then out of habit I started reading some of the other ladies on the McFatty quest and started to think.

Alena @Charming Chandler talked about just doing it (losing the weight) and stop talking about it.
Earth to LA does that sound like you? While pregnant I constantly said when I get cleared for exercise I will join weight watchers and train for a 1/2 marathon. Did I do either one of those things? Nope.

Then Jacqueline @MarblesRolling wrote a post I could have written myself, absent the actively trying for number 2. We are still talking about when to start. I have many fears about not going ahead and pounding out the kids. I have one kidney have been told that with every year I wait the more stress my body will go through and the more likely something will happen with my health. So part of me wants to have more now and part of me is yelling "No, no, no" get that weight down before you even think about it. She talked about learning to love your body, and more specifically your new body because ::news flash:: pregnancy changes things and not everything goes back to normal. My body literally changed overnight, my previous ridiculously narrow hips became normal. And I can run all I want, those bones aren't moving.  I have a memory of what I looked like July 2008 and I have set that as the standard. I think, I need to learn to be realistic and to set smaller goals.

So here I am today, not overly sure what step to take or what to think. But learning that my weight does not define me as person, that I talk a lot more than act and maybe I would do myself a world of good to give away a lot of clothes made for a body that I do not own anymore.

Anyone want to join me in the Couch to 5k? I will via email hold you accountable.

The dark side of being Mom

Life can sneak up on you and explode sometimes. A phone call, a knock on the door, letter... something happens and the ball drops and that moment of bliss pauses and you wonder is this really happening?

Sometimes you wake up and wonder how did we get here?

My baby brother is a heroin addict. This amazingly smart young man has spent the better part of the last five spiraling out of control has he fell deeper into his own demons. 8 months ago our family figured it out and we got him help. My parents found the best rehab money could buy, shipped him off and my mother traveled 7 hours each way weekly to attend family therapy.

She was his angel, she was his mother. She stopped her life and focused on him. The family banned together and rallied him on. We knew he could do it; he was too smart to loose his life to his addictions.

We were wrong, his first month with any freedom, with any hope of responsibility he found himself right back to where he started. I can't wrap my brain around his addictions, its beyond me. I kills me to think that my little love is loosing his uncle to this illness. That we, as a family, are being robbed of his presence because of drugs.

I watch my baby run around and wonder what will our struggles be. Will I have to stand by and watch him ruin his life? Will I be able to do it, will it kill me? You are a parent the rest of your life and sometimes your children choose a path you cannot join them on. Its scary sometimes to realize that our babes will grow and have a path to live and all we can do is hope and pray that their life is the one we dreamed for them. No mother dreams of the bad. Tonight lets say a prayer for the mother's that loved their kids through the real bad and in the end still lost.

Thankful on Thursday

I am so very thankful for the last year of my life. I have been blessed with a man who loves me through good and bad... hormone ravaged and sane.... chubby and "college girl hot" and the honor being this little angel's mother.

From Belly to One

Our Son's First Year of Life

(sit back and enjoy and if you are coming to his party you may want to wait to watch it, the uncut 15 mins will be aired then) 

And yes Grandparents, you are getting your very own copy.


**I, also, would like to thank Alysha @ TheTarrPitt for giving me this fantastic idea.

A letter to myself as a new mom

Dear 10 months pregnant LA, 
Yes, everyone will tell you that the babe is easier in the oven rather than out. Don't worry about biting your tongue, they are wrong. Between the high blood pressure and the numb leg your body is revolting against the pregnancy and you will feel better with him out. Keep walking all the time, you will be so thankful.


Dear Day 1 Momma, 
Ask if you can have pain medication! Your nurse just forgot to tell you about the drugs and the IBProfin will not cut the pain. There is no reason for you to feel like you have been run over by a truck.
Please go to the bathroom, do not be afraid. Holding it for 12 hours will give you a worse set of issues. And ask about that water bottle, no it is not for after you go to the bathroom but during and I promise it will make your life much better when you figure out its true purpose.


Dear Month 1 Momma, 
Just breathe, things aren't good today and won't be for awhile just hug your baby and be thankful that he is perfect. Don't miss those precious moments with him when it just the two of you.  Keep standing up for yourself, he is your baby and the sooner the rest of the world gets it the smoother life will be.

Dear Month 2 Momma, 
You are doing awesome, no matter what others say. Your kid is advanced and the extra time you spend sleep training him and on tummy time will pay off. Keep it up, you got this.

Dear Month 3 Momma, 
Hug that baby all day if you want, he is about to stop wanting to cuddle with you.
Oh and don't put that IUD in, it will make you fat. And crazy. It's not worth it.  It will rob you of your happiness.

Dear Month 4 Momma, 
Don't think twice about starting food, the growth charts will thank you.

Dear Month 5 Momma,
Stop cleaning so much,  a little dust on the floor and dog hair never hurt anyone and you are about to make yourself crazy. Enjoy those 3 naps a day, you about to loose one.


Dear Month 6 Momma, 
Enjoy those last few moments of sitting, he is about to be on the move and your life will change overnight.


Dear Month 7 Momma, 
Spending hours alphabetizing the DVDs is a waste of time. Soon the babe will take great delight in pulling them all down and spreading them around the room.


Dear Month 8 Momma, 
Listen to your gut, the toe is fine there is no need to go to the emergency room. It will just cost you $500 and an entire day for a band aid.


Dear Month 9 Momma, 
Again, listen to your gut that bad mood means ear infection and he needs medication to be nicer. Baby proofing is more for the your sanity and then the protection of the babe he will figure out how to by- pass it quickly. 


Dear Month 10 Momma, 
Repeat after me. "The earlier you put him to bed the longer he will sleep."


Dear Month 11 Momma, 
You will actually feel like you having heart attack when you see and can't stop the babe from taking his first big fall.  Just remember life was never this good, never this sweet and didn't count as much as it does after the birth of the babe. Hold on to that, forget the rest. 


yours truly,
a wiser version of yourself.

Becoming Mom

A year ago today at 3:05pm a precious and handsome baby boy was welcomed into the world.
In that moment a baby took his first breathe of life. In that moment, I became Mom.

Before becoming Mom
I never knew that your heart really could live outside your body.
I never knew that watching your child hurt would actually be gut-wrenching.
I never knew true exhaustion and even through the midst of those moments a simple cry could inspire me to run to his side.
I never knew that a smell could make my heart smile and make me yearn to bottle it up so I could smell him this way forever.
I never knew the pride of watching your child roll over, sit-up, crawl and walk for the first time.
I never knew how entertaining a child could be or how I would lasso the moon to make his life better.
I never that I would love something so much that it literally burst from my soul.
This last year I learned something new every day and, today, I can look at him and with pride know that I am his Mother, I am Mom.

The love I felt for him that day has grown as he has taught me true selfless love. I fall more in love with him and his Daddy every day because together they have taught me that I am Mom.  I may have given him life but he daily gives life back to me.

Happy First Birthday my angel, my love. Your Mommy & Daddy could not love you more.

Flashbacks

I had a realization yesterday. The kind of realization that hits you in the gut and sends your brain into tail spins.

In 2 weeks, EJ will be a year old. In 2 weeks, we will have had him in our arms for a whole year.

It astounds me.

Where has the time gone?

It just flew by. I know time is not going to slow down either. Time, in fact, will speed up and before I know it I will be sending him to his first day of school, signing him up for sports and my baby will then turn into a teenager and then a man.

In the last year, I watched him learn to hold up his head, sit up, crawl and walk. I have gotten to be his sole source of nutrition,  teach him how to hold a bottle and fed him his first tastes. In the last year, I got to experience new life. I got to see the wonderment in the first taste of fruit. Watch eyes light up with the first sight of a bright flower. Hear the squeal of excitement with the first splash in the pool. And cause a full on baby belly laugh with simple game of Peek-A-Boo.

Some days I tear up because I just want to pause life, to be able to soak in these moments just a bit longer. But then I remember that we get to have front row seats to life. I gave him life, but he daily gives life back to me. I get to see the world through new eyes and the sun really is a little brighter.